


We're believing in a future we can't see

by Mapachi



Category: 1Team (Band), 믹스나인 | MIXNINE (TV), 소년24 | BOYS24 (TV) RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, I Made Myself Emo, M/M, Or not, koi to uso AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 07:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13805958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mapachi/pseuds/Mapachi
Summary: In a society where the government matches you up with who their databases judge is the best suitable partner for you there is no place for romanticism.But that didn’t stop Rubin from falling in love.





	We're believing in a future we can't see

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~! I'm back again with more Rubin/Sungho a.k.a the superior Rubin ship but instead of updating my other work I ended up writing this.  
> I hope you like it!

In a society where the government matches you up with who their databases judge is the best suitable partner for you there is no place for romanticism, you don’t get to meet someone and fall in love with them naturally, instead you get a notice on your 18th birthday with the name of your assigned partner and that’s it, you get a meeting arranged between your families and the rest is history.

 

While it’s true that it’s extremely rare for a divorce to happen since the government implemented this, they still happen and while it’s completely legal to refuse to marry your assigned partner, the both of them will forever be judged with stigma by the society.

 

But that didn’t stop Rubin from falling in love.

 

If you asked him when he stopped having only platonic feelings for his friend he wouldn’t be able to give a proper answer for he was not even sure himself, but he could tell you the moment he realized he would risk everything for a future with him.

 

They had been lying in his bed one afternoon, the other boy was busy reading the lyrics of a new song Rubin had just played for him, it was a sad love song that Rubin had felt attached to since the first time he had found it only a couple days before.

 

Rubin found himself only staring at his friend, his mind blank as he studied his features, from the two moles on his neck that reminded Rubin of a vampire’s bite mark to his small ears that had been recently pierced much to his parent’s frustration, his white unblemished skin and naturally pink lips.

 

_“This song is too sad,”_

 

Sungho sighed, lowering his phone and turning his face towards Rubin’s. They were so close their sides touched, a position familiar to the both of them that never had an issue with skinship, finding natural to lean against the other even if they didn’t do it intentionally, just like that moment as Rubin leaned his head closer pressing his face against his friend’s shoulder.

 

Without having to express his emotions with words Sungho understood him, knew he needed comfort as he let go of his phone so he could throw his arm over Rubin, his hand moving up and down his back in soothing motions.

 

_“Rubin-ah is there anything you want to tell me?”_

 

Rubin couldn’t help but scoff, feeling something close to distress. What could he say to Sungho? Would it help to confess how he felt towards him? He feared saying what he felt out loud, as if putting those emotions out there would make it even realer, would ruin everything between them.

 

_“Because there is something I do want to tell you and… I think we’re on the same page Rubin-ah,”_

He could feel the tears well up inside his eyes but he kept his eyes closed, leaning even closer against Sungho’s side, drying the silent tears against his friend’s red hoodie. The butterflies fluttered against his stomach and wanted to burst out his mouth in the form of loving words, a confession of the feelings he had been harboring for God’s knows how long.

 

Trusting he didn’t have to word his emotions for Sungho to understand he leaned back enough for their faces to be inches apart, their eyes meeting and the both of them could see their emotions reflected in the other’s eyes.  The corner of Sungho’s lips quirked up in a smile, his eyes shining happily and Rubin almost smiled back but the fear that was quickly enveloping his heart stopped him.

 

What good would it come from this? Sungho was already 17 years old and in less than a year he would receive his notice with a name Rubin was sure wouldn’t be his, couldn’t hope it was his because even if his heart whished for a happy ending he knew the chance of them being matched was too small to hope for it.

 

Sungho’s smile slowly disappeared, his eyes dimmed for a moment before a new spark shinned in them. He turned completely so they were chest to chest, his free hand moved up to cup Rubin’s face, his thumb brushing against the still wet eyelashes.

 

 _“We can do this Rubin-ah, I don’t care about some stupid notice ok? I want_ you _,”_

 

Rubin’s heart wells up, the stupid hope he wants to ignore grows inside him with a single sentence from Sungho and he feels almost disappointed with himself, how easily he is moved by Sungho’s words but at the same time he doesn’t care, doesn’t care if he’s wrapped around Sungho’s finger for he knows Sungho is just as wrapped around his.

 

He closes his eyes when Sungho leans closer, sighs deeply when the pinks lips he has admired so many times press against his in a chaste kiss. Sungho kisses him sweetly, moving his lips against his slowly and tenderly as if he feared breaking him, as if he knew how easily he could actually break Rubin. The kiss tastes like a promise, one Rubin knows they won’t be able to keep but decides to believe.

 

They keep their relationship a secret from everyone for obvious reasons, but he can still notice the looks his friends send his way when Sungho goes to his classroom at breaks, something Sungho had been doing for ages but maybe his friends are able to notice the subtle difference in the way Sungho and Rubin look at each other. Hyunsoo and Minkyun try to get him to talk about what’s really happening when they notice a tattoo under the sleeves of his uniform blazer, Jaeyoung having mentioned earlier that day that he noticed Sungho had gotten a tattoo on his wrist.

 

Rubin forgets at times they have a timer ticking above their heads, he’s enjoying the time he spends with Sungho as his boyfriend, a secret but a boyfriend still. He knows he’s the only one that knows how soft Sungho’s lips are, the only one on the receiving end of that loving stare, the muse of Sungho’s surprisingly cheesy songs. Sungho is Rubin’s first times as much as Rubin is Sungho’s first.

 

Sadly, that includes their first heartbreak.

 

It’s nearing midnight on the 17th of July, minutes before their time together ends. They had refused to talk about that would happen after one night Sungho had whispered promises of a life together against Rubin’s skin, the sweet promises digging into Rubin’s heart and opening wounds that wouldn’t heal. Rubin had begged in a broken whisper for Sungho to stop, not more words needed to explain how he didn’t believe in those promises, knowing that at the end of the day were empty words that were only given as a false sense of confidence, as if repeating them would turn them into truth, but the world was cruel and society wouldn’t accept a love like theirs.

 

_11:58_

 

Sungho reaches to take Rubin’s hands in his, his bony fingers interlacing with his. There were unshed tears in both of their eyes, Sungho was biting on his lower lip to keep the word they had refused to say out loud all this time for they both knew it would only make everything more painful. Rubin tried to stop the tears but in the end he lost, the tears falling from his eyes one after another, he could feel how his heart was breaking apart inside his chest.

 

_11:59_

 

Without saying anything they leaned closer, their lips meeting in a tender kiss, their lips moving so slowly against the others as if they wanted to slow time too. Rubin felt how hot tears that were not his fell on top of their clasped hands, their tears mingling together until they became one, how sad he found that in a couple minutes that trace of them uniting would dry up until nothing was left.

 

Sungho leaned back enough for them to break the kiss but still breathe the same air, Rubin’s head feeling dizzy. Sungho breathed in deeply, his fingers tightening their grasp around Rubin’s.

 

_“I love you Rubin-ah,”_

_00:00_

 

A deafening ring came from Sungho’s phone but Rubin barely heard it above the noise his heartbeat made against his ears. A whimper left his lips, he felt horrible, a mixture of opposite feelings clashing inside his heart, sorrow for their time officially ending, resent for Sungho saying that word out loud when it had been an unspoken rule to never do it and his heart swelled with that same feeling, the love he had only for Sungho and was not sure would be able to feel for whoever was named in the notice he would get next year when he became 18 years old too.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it! I thought about writing more and adding side ships but I'll leave it here.  
> Thank you for reading, kudos, comments and suggestions are always welcome!
> 
> Hit me up on twt at @Mapachiii


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